Showing posts with label
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks.
Show all posts
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
- The hand that turneth the knob opens the door
- Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse
- Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
- Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night
- My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
- There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year
- Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon and too late
- Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it
- Gravity should not be responsible when people fall in love
- A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head
- If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"
- I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- Where there's a will...I want to be on itDon't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
- Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries
- When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car
- Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 'Take two aspirin’ and "Keep away from children'
- Don't forget that people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions
Cool Remarks
- Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet
- Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I admit that my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving
- If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving
- The speed of time is one-second per second
- If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
- I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!!!
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others
- Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
Cool Remarks
- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused
- The more people I meet, the more I like my dog
- Seriousness is when stupidity gratuates college...
- I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?
- Is it possible to be totally partial?
Cool Remarks
- Smith & Wesson - The original point and click interface
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet
- Kids in the dark might cause an accident, but an accident in the dark is sure to cause kids
- I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem
- My reality check bounced
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Workaholics Anonymous---- THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
- Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking?
- We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated
- I am a nobody, nobody is perfect... Therefore I am perfect
Cool Remarks
- During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was to go
out with out putting on your armor because you were "just going down to
the corner"
- Workaholics Anonymous---- THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY
- Earth is the insane asylum of the universe
- I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day... Tomorrow is not looking good either
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it
Cool Remarks
- My other car is also a Mercedes
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you
- One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population
- If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it
Cool Remarks
- I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
- Speed on! Hell ain't half full...
- You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter
- Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
