Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Honk if you love peace and quiet
- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live
- Warning I have an attitude and I know how to use it
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it
- Annapolis- A drinking town with a sailing problem
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- It works better if you plug it in
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse
- My weight is perfect for my height - which varies
- Remember My Name - You'll Be Screaming It Later
- Inventor of keyboard is a very passionate guy as he put U and I together
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
- The hand that turneth the knob opens the door
- Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Life is short, make fun of it
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot
- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get
- He who refuses to listen is lying
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse He Couldn’t Do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse
- Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen
- Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night
- My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement
- I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they are OK, you're it.
- There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year
- Our toaster works on either AC or DC, but not on bread. It has two settings: too soon and too late
- Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
- Despite the cost of living have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Out of my mind... Back in five minutes
- Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, some one would be stupid enough to try to pass them
- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away and you have their shoes
- Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time
- Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up
in the morning, and does not stop until you get to school/work
- I don't have a solution but I admire the problem
- The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once
- A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house
- Marriage is the only war in which one sleeps with the enemy
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- You may have a heart of gold - but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- Where there's a will...I want to be on itDon't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
- Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
- A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries
- When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car
- Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: 'Take two aspirin’ and "Keep away from children'
- Don't forget that people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key
- The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film
- If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle
Cool Remarks
- Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet
- Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence
- Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
- My kid beat up your honor student.
- Don't make me get out my flying monkeys!
- It is as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I'd like to see a nature film where an eagle swoops down and pulls a
fish out of a lake, and then maybe he's flying along, low to the ground,
and the fish pulls a worm out of the ground. Now that's a documentary.
- It's all fun and games, 'till someone loses an eye! Then it's a *SPORT*
- If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population
- After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I admit that my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving
- If at first you don't succeed ... well, so much for sky diving
- The speed of time is one-second per second
- If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire
- I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do You Want?
- Virus check complete. All viruses functioning normally
- If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"
- The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
- I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!!!
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others
- Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
Bumper Stickers & Cool Remarks
- Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after
- If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
- Keep working! Millions on welfare are depending on you!
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
- Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
